


I Hate Women

by HarveysHoe



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-07 01:02:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1879119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarveysHoe/pseuds/HarveysHoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony chooses a movie night with Pepper over a prank with Clint. Pepper stole his pranking buddy away from him. Clint hates women.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate Women

**Author's Note:**

> Some cheeky Clint and angry Tony. Enjoyyyy!

"No. No. I can't. I refuse."

Clint Barton groaned as he watched his friend 'refuse' for the twentieth time. "C'mon, man. It's just for kicks."

Tony whirled around on his spinning chair, "Kicks? Hmm, as in; to get my girlfriend to kick me in the balls? No thanks." Clint rolled his grey eyes and walked in front of Tony, blocking his holographic screen of his latest invention or whatever, Clint didn't care.

"Since when did you become a whining little prat?" Tony raised an eyebrow. "We used to pull pranks all of the time!" The dark haired man slowly pushed Clint to the side.

"Dude, we sent Steve to a gay bar last week... I mean, this thing is only just healing." Tony stated, pointing to his bruised eye. Clint chewed on his bottom lip.

"Yeah, but, you never want to pull one on Pepper-"

"Believe me, I've pulled more than-"

"I mean pranking!"

Tony closed his mouth, "I knew that." Clint made a face at him and Tony stood up. "And I don't ever want to pull a prank on Pepper because of what she is capable of doing to me."

Clint snickered, "What? She gonna sleep with old-man-captain? Doubt that would be anything other than fun." Tony glared at him.

"She's my girlfriend, I care about her. I really don't want to screw this up."

"Aw, how _sweet_!" The other man squealed. Tony sighed. Clint threw his hands up in surrender. "Alright, aright. I'll leave you to go all lovey dovey over your _amazing_ girlfriend."

* * *

"Pepper, I hate you."

Pepper widened her eyes and turned around to face Clint, who was sitting on top of the refrigerator. "When did you... How did you... Where's Tony?"

"I hate women."

Pepper gaped, "Wow. That's a pretty solid thing to say, especially if you don't mean it-"

"Oh, I mean it." He spat, crossing his arms. "Every single one of you. So many cells wasted on a pointless gender of human being. Why can't men marry dogs and not women?"

This was a strange conversation, even for Pepper and she was dating Tony Stark. "I can't say that I understand why, Clint. I'm sure they can, it's just a longer process... and it's a bit awkward I think."

Clint flared his nostrils. "It's not awkward, it's true love." He defended.

Pepper had nothing else to say. Honest to God, she was stuck. "Well, like you said, it's true love, so they must be able to marry one another..."

Clint huffed and climbed further up until he got to his vent. "I despise you."

Pepper only hummed into her cup of coffee. "Good talk, Clint!"

Tony really did need a new person to call 'best friend'. Maybe she could talk _him_ into getting a dog...

* * *

"Haha! I love her! She is just - what's her name again?"

Pepper smiled, "Who, Megan?"

Tony nodded through a mouth full of popcorn, "She's so great. Is that what it's really like to get hitched for you women?"

Pepper shrugged, "I doubt it, honey. Then again, I don't know."

Tony hummed and placed the bowl on the table in front of them, wrapping his large arm around her shoulder and pulling her to him. Pepper smiled and curled up to his side, running one of her hands along his muscular chest.

She giggled quietly every time she felt his laughter through his chest because of the film. This was the first time he had ever watched 'Bridesmaids' and she had no clue that he'd actually watch something like this with her _and_ find it amusing.

When the credits rolled in, Pepper raised her head to look at Tony. He was asleep, snoring lightly, his face snuggled against the back of the couch. She smiled at the sight and ran one of her hands through his messy waves ofhair. Tony mumbled in his sleep and leaned against the palm of her hand when it came to rest against his warm cheek.

She ran her index finger along the rough stubble of his goatee and giggled as the hair tickled her skin. "Honey, let's go to bed, come on."

Tony awoke at that, groaning. "No, m'comfy."

She smiled and stood, "I know, but you'll be much more comfortable in bed."

Tony shook his head and opened his big eyes to look up at her. " _Pwease?_ " He pulled at her hand. "Stay..." She was lost in the pools of brown as he pulled her to sit across his slim waist, knees at both sides of his body. His hands ran up her bare thighs and to the bottom of her blue denim shorts she wore. "God, your gorgeous."

Tony bent his head, his eyes closed and Pepper let hers flutter shut. He bit on her bottom lip slowly before using his warm tongue to pull her lips open and dive into her mouth. She moaned and curled her hands into his thick hair.

Tony removed her pink tank top slowly and Pepper tilted her head, giving him full access to her neck. "Tony..." He licked up her neck, jaw line and nibbled on her ear before returning to her needy mouth. He switched their positions so that he was now on top.

Suddenly, once Tony's top was yanked off, the couple were drenched in ice cold water. Tony pulled away, yelping and gasping at the coldness against his bare skin. "What the fuck?" As he looked up, Clint peeked down at him from the vent and grinned with a giggling Thor beside him.

"I'm gonna fucking rip you apart, Bird shit!" The younger man screamed as his hair dripped down his face.

"That's what you get for picking women over your best friend!" Clint yelled before pointing at Pepper, "I found a new pranking buddy!" He ran away with Thor following. How that Blonde idiot managed to fit in there, Tony hadn't a clue.

Clint Barton most definitely holds a grudge.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a review, Please? Thank you!


End file.
